How to Deal with Emotions
by nerdyfanchick
Summary: "I guess they do, because I'm straight and I used it unironically. Wow, no homo actually meaning no homo, what an amazing concept!" / Or: A fic in three acts and at least a dozen chapters, wherein Lovino is 110% Totally Straight and struggles his way through high school with things learned from romcoms and teen novels. [Spamano piece in the So You've Got Feelings series]
1. pretty

_I really shouldn't be writing this because htwap still has 2 chapters that I need to write but the spamano dynamic in this au makes me really happy and I need to share it. When it gets to the text message part, reg italics are Lovi and bold are the other person. It's pretty to see that though_

_Anyway, basic au, high school w nyos_

_Nyo Iggy: Guinevere Kirkland (Gwen-aa-veer)_

_Nyo Italy: Alice Vargas (Al-ee-che)_

_Also any part that says it takes place in Italy, you can assume the characters are actually speaking italian k_

_Enjoy~_

* * *

**ACT ONE **

**The Vargas' family villa, Italy (Age 8)**

Lovino's papa and mama were looking at him weirdly.

"What was that last part, baby? The part about your friend Gabriele?" His mama asked, her smile looking a bit... _off_.

Lovino huffed, because he hated it when his parents didn't listen to his stories. "I _said_, me and Gabriele were playing calcio with Ali but then our ball went into Ms. Senforza's yard and she's _super scary_, so we were all sad but Gabri said that he would go ask his brother for his ball."

"No, no," His papa shook his head as he wiped off Alice's mouth, "_After_ that, the part about... his eyes."

"Oh! Gabri has really pretty eyes! They're like storm clouds, only cooler and-"

"Boys aren't pretty, Lovino."

Lovino scrunched up his nose, because his mama was using her _don't say anything like that ever again or I'll wash your mouth out with that icky lilac soap again, I mean it mister!_ voice, but Lovino hadn't copied _any_ of papa's words.

"But, Gabri _is _pretty," He insisted, "Just like mama."

Because Gabriele's hair was shiny, just like mama's, and his eyes looked nice and sparkly, just like mama's, and Gabriele made Lovino feel all warm and happy inside, just like how mama did, and papa said that mama was pretty all the time, so Gabriele _had_ to be pretty, just like mama.

His papa reached over and grabbed Lovino, squishing up his small face. "Listen, boys aren't pretty. Boys _can't_ be pretty. You shouldn't feel like a boy is pretty or cute or beautiful; those words are for how girls make you feel and it's _wrong _to think that about a boy, understand?"

Lovino nodded the best that he could in his papa's hold, "Yes, papa. Will you let go now? Your nails are hurting my cheek..."

Papa immediately let go and launched into his day at work as if nothing had happened, and Lovino decided that he had to be more careful, so that he didn't accidentally say more wrong stuff.

* * *

**Romulus Vargas' American home, America (Age 16)**

**_"_****_Four letter word just to get me along, it's a difficulty and I'm biting on my tou-"_**

Lovino, as per his typical morning ritual, nearly threw his phone across the room in his efforts to shut off the annoying alarm (Which did work, but now it was on the floor so Lovino would actually have to _get up _next time it went off). Then, he snuggled back down into his blankets so he could sleep and pretend that it wasn't the first day of school for almost exactly four more minutes before...

**_"Loathing, unadulterated loathing." _**

_Fucking wonderful. Right on time._

Lovino almost literally slinked out of his bed, dragging his blankets with him, to grabbed his phone and slam a finger down on the talk button with more force than necessary.

"Fuck you with a rusty rake, Tomato Bastard."

_"And good morning to you too, Lovi!" _The happy (_way_ too happy, especially for this early) voice trilled loudly.

"You're yelling; you're in the tree, then?" Antonio's mother worked nights, so he had to go around the house in near silence in the mornings. Luckily - Lovino supposed it was, since he probably would be late to school more often than not if not for his wake up call - the oak tree in their front yard had a branch that Antonio could climb onto from his bedroom window.

"Si! And listen, there are a bunch of bird out here too," The idiot on the other side of the line went quiet and Lovino could faintly hear birds in the background.

Lovino shifted the phone to his shoulder and forced himself to leave the warm confines of his blanket cocoon so that he could get ready and get this day over with as fast as possible. "Fantastic. Did you start the coffee yet?"

"Oh, um, I was going to but then I had to call you and the birds and-" Lovino dropped the phone as he hopped in an attempt to get his canary yellow skinny jeans on (And Lovino had gotten sinfully good at ignoring the part of his brain that said that only _girls_ wore skinny jeans, much less colored ones, because he looked good, damn it), so he missed the middle of Antonio's weak apology. "-But after I get off the phone I'll get right on it!"

"Then get it done _now_," Lovino growled as he finished tousling his hair perfectly, and ended the call.

_Perfect_, Lovino thought as he stood in front of his mirror, surveying himself.

"Perfect!" A voice echoed his thoughts from the doorway, and Lovino spun around and glared at his younger sister. "Morning Lovi! I made eggs and bacon, and, ve, nonno isn't here - I think he spent the night at that one girl's house, what was her name? Lisa? - so you only have to battle me for it."

Lovino didn't reply to anything Alice said as he made his way downstairs, but fuck everything, the old man had _promised_ that he would stop doing that. It was a bad influence on Ali. "Is your German Shepherd picking you up or what?"

"It's really Sakura picking all of us up, but yes. And I wish you'd stop calling her that. I mean, ve, it's slightly better than 'Potato Bitch', but only barely," Alice said with a click of her tongue.

"I only don't call her Potato Bitch when I'm around you or when I'm speaking to her face, but I don't have time to talk to you about nicknames," Lovino checked his phone for the time and swore under his breath, "Damn, I'm going to be late."

"Say hi to big brother Tonio for me!" Alice yelled after Lovino's back, and Lovino flipped her off.

Lovino was a realist, and as such he realized that this year was probably going to suck.

* * *

**The Idiot**

_If we run into the before school rush because you're taking your goddamn time_

_Then I will destroy you_

_Hurry the fuck up dummy_

**Kirkland, Guinevere**

_You changed your name in my phone_

**You noticed. I don't like being called "Gwenie", you know.**

**N****ot that you would've gathered that from the millions of times that I've said it before.**

_Sarcasm doesn't transfer well over text eyebrows_

_And its gwenie kirks now_

**CHANGE IT TO SOMETHING RESPECTABLE THIS INSTANT YOU WANKER**

_Like hell_

**No matter, I'll change it back next time I get ahold of your phone.**

**Your pin is typically easy to guess.**

_My pin is fucking great_

**If by "fucking great", you mean "incredibly simple", then I agree wholeheartedly.**

**And I forgot to mention it before, but cute wallpaper.**

_Fuck you and your dual pigtails_

**The Idiot**

**sry lovi!**

**i woke mama up when i was making breakfast and she yelled at me v.v**

**but ill be out in a second okay~~**

_Christ you take forfuckingever come on_

**Gwenie Kirks**

**I don't think I'm your type, Lovino.**

_Hola!_

_This is Antonio since lovi is driving~_

_He said to tell you to fuck off which is really mean sry Kirkland_

**It's fine, Carriedo.**

_And he wants to know if ur still going to meet us at the park_

**Is Lovino still buying?**

_Si~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_Were getting donuts rn but he says you have to bring ur own drink_

**Give me a moment.**

_**Okay!**_

_... R u still there Kirkland?_

**Yes, sorry, I'm here. Tell Lovino I'll meet you there.**

**I have a first bell AP, but it's American History and they don't do anything on the first day anyway.**

_Okay~~_

_See u there!_

* * *

"Today is the first day of our Sophomore year, and we're skipping the first bell," Guinevere commented between bites of doughnut as they sat on a picnic blanket in the middle of the park's soccer field, "Does it seem a bit like a romance novel cliche to anyone else?"

_Yes, _Lovino thought, but it was _wrong_ for boys to read romance novels so instead he said "No one else can detect trashy novel tropes better than you, Gwenie," and smirked at her glare, and pretended not to notice the way that Antonio's smile faltered for a second. "But, Gwen's addiction to bad books aside, I'd like to propose a toast."

"A toast to what, Lovi?"

"I don't know, to anything really," He paused in thought, "Ah, I got it. To surviving another year stuck in this deadbeat town," Lovino answered, raising his coffee tumbler.

Guinevere rose her doughnut, "To skipping class for chocolate-covered doughnuts."

"To pretty birdsong and trees," Antonio chimed and lifted his sugar-filled energy drink, then, smiling at Lovino, added, "And first bell study hall!"

Lovino allowed himself a rare smile, "To making this year ever-so-slightly better than Freshman year!"

They all clinked cups/pastries, and Lovino supposed that maybe he could allow himself to be optimistic, just this once.

* * *

_Lovi was sort of ooc in the end uggggh but I enjoy writing this so much omg._

_Was the text part confusing for anyone?_

_Please review and follow and fave and whatever bros!_


	2. nice

_Hey guys! So we have a new title, new description and... A TUMBLR TAG! It's "Fic:SYGF" if you're of the tumblring persuasion :D_

_Okay, so actually important stuff: This chapter took forever because of my 2 ap classes and distractions/plot bunnies and because I had my own mini sexuality crisis. Fun. But it's here because __I sat down and forced myself to stop procrastinating at 10 last night. I finished this chapter at 1am, posted, and went to bed. And then woke up at 5:30 to get ready for school._

_Don't be like me. Don't fanfic on weekdays._

_Also, the series now has two completely canon spamano one-hots on Archive Of Our Own (My user is shippingeverything), so go check them out please! I'll be referencing one next chapter, and I'll explain the reference but reading the one-shots might be helpful_

_Please enjoy!_

* * *

**The Vargas' Family Villa, Italy (age 9)**

"Mama, papa, I'm back! The game was canceled because..." Lovino paused at the raised voices of his parents, speaking... English. Weird. He snuck closer to the study where they were arguing.

"_'__S not like he did it, Achelle! Ali did, and y'know how she's been actin' since that German girl moved._" His mother said, her ever-constant accent muddling the english words that Lovino could already barely remember.

"_And that's supposed to make it_ _alright?_" His father yelled back, "_I'm supposed to be proud that my son has pink toes because he made his little sister feel better?_"

"_Yes! You are!"_" When his father stayed silent, mama sighed, "_Ya know what? I don'know why I married you. You're fuckin' horrible._"

"_You married me because I listened to your dumb ass and you got knocked up with the_ boy," His father mumbled, his tone is more like what you would use for a minor complaint then an actual insult. But then he remembered what they were fighting about. "_And I'm not going sit by and watch as you turn my son into a-a,_" His father paused, before continuing more quietly, and Lovino moved in because he had to hear, he had to know what papa didn't want, he had to make papa happy, "_a _fag_! Don't you get it, Lola? That's how it starts._"

"_It's _Lolicia_, you_ _dick,_" Lovino knew that she wasn't saying nice words (he had his mouth washed out on several occasions for using that word in particular), but she sounded the same way it does when she called them "Sweetie" or when she called papa "Darling". It was really weird. "_And Lovino'll be fine.__ We _are_ Vargas', after all; and Vargas men like women, right, baby?_"

Papa made some sort of growling noise, only happier, and mama giggled, and Lovino went back outside because they were probably about do something gross, like kiss.

"Vargas men like women," Lovino picked the hot pink paint off of his nails as he said the sentence in Italian, "Vargas men aren't... 'a fah-gug'."

* * *

**Himaruya High, 2nd Bell Biology (age 16)**

"... I'm like, 'Oi, Bastard! Get the fuck away from her!', but in Italian so it's more like, 'Ehi, bastardo! Cazzo allontanarsi da quella ragazza!'" Lovino very nearly smirked and dropped the character he had built up when the girls tittered and sighed at the use of his mother tongue. _Works every time_. "And the guy just ignores me, so what am I supposed to do, just let this fucking random salivate over my baby sister?"

"Of course not! It's always so creepy when guys do that," A pretty brunette chimed, and Lovino could see the boys were listening in shrink into themselves.

"Exactly, bella. So I go over and punch the guy right in the... ah, what's the word?" And that was his favorite part, because he had lived in America for nearly four years, not counting the 6 years before he moved to Italy, but his accent was still thick enough that it worked.

"Nose?" Asked an eager redhead Freshman, whose grin nearly split her face when Lovino nodded in thanks.

"Si, si, I punch the guy right in the nose, and he hightails it outta there, and I never see the bastard again, lucky for him."

When the girls predictably fawned over how "manly" and "chivalrous" Lovino is, he preened because, for a second, he could pretend that the guy hadn't punched him right back and then proceeded to beat Lovino down.

"Ragazze, ragazze, it really was nothing," Lovino allowed the smirk to come this time, since he found that his smirk worked way better than his smile. "I'd do anything to help a pretty girl."

And any one of the pretty girls that he's passed up in favor of finding them a guy that fits with them would say as much; but he only did it because he liked having people owe him, not because he was actively avoiding the love struck teens. Because Lovino was, above everything else, a Vargas.

And Vargas men like women.

* * *

_lovi! lovi i hate math so much dio_

**shut up bastard. youre annoying.**

_but loviiiiiiii_

**if i get caught with this note i will kill you**

_jajajaja youll be okay (^▽^)_

_you never told me how it went with that christina girl_

**shes with bruce now. she seemed happy enough when i waved to her earlier**

_but i thought you liked her? you said she was really pretty_

**she was a proj**

**she was annoying**

_oh_

**yeah oh.**

**now stop being conspicuous before mrs "im so old i helped make math" catches on**

_idk what you mean im n_

* * *

"I can't believe I got in trouble," Antonio whined as they walked out of math.

"It's because you're a dumbass," Lovino said, blunt and unsympathetic as always. It was the third time it happened, and they'd only been in school for a month and a half. "You grin down at the paper and write really obviously."

"I can't help but smile when I think of you, Lovi," Antonio murmured, almost too quietly for Lovino to register. But he did hear it, and his face responded accordingly by flushing his cheeks a light pink.

"Antonio-" Lovino started, but they were already to the Caf, and Antonio's next class was halfway across the school and he had 3 or less minutes to get there.

"Well, I have to get going, see you later?"

Lovino rolled his eyes, pushing the incident aside. "I have to drive you home, of course you'll see me later, tomato bastard. Go the fuck to class."

Antonio chuckled and then-

And then he, the fucking idiot, in front of everyone in the hall and the Caf's glass wall, took Lovino's hand and pressed a quick, warm kiss to his knuckles. Lovino froze as his eyes widened and his face was probably a weird shade of scarlet by then, but before he could yell or scream or _anything_, Antonio was gone and Lovino was left holding his hand unnaturally far away from him and a twisting feeling in his stomach.

He ran to the bathroom because it was too much, too much, _too much_ and everybody was staring at him and he had to get away.

"Sono etero," He splashed water on his face, repeating it, "Sono etero, sono etero, sono etero." He's so involved in convincing himself that _he is a Vargas, he isn't a fag, he likes women_, that he didn't notice that there was someone there until they clear their throat.

"Ah, sorry, I'll just leave, I didn't mean to-" The kid, a blond with long hair, seemed to fold in on himself the more Lovino looked at him, and stuttered his way through an explanation, but that wasn't what Lovino wanted.

"Shut the hell up, kid. Do you speak Italian?"

The kid looked shocked, but forced out an, "Um, no."

Lovino nodded to himself, "Good. Don't repeat any of the shit you heard me say. Ever. Or I will end you."

"Ah," The kid laughed a bit, before awkwardly tampering off when realizing that Lovino was serious as the plague. Lovino vaguely wondered if the rumors that he knew people in the mafia was still going around. "Right. Sorry, I'll go…"

"Wait," Lovino said before he could stop himself. _Why do I always do this?_ He inwardly sighed. "People don't just run into fucking bathrooms because they're okay. What the hell is wrong, bastard?"

The kid hesitated, and Lovino was thankful that he didn't bring up the fact that Lovino himself was hiding in the bathroom too. "Um, well, there's this girl-"

"Of fucking course there is. Look, kid-"

"Matthew."

Lovino rose a brow, because the kid - Matthew - looked so resolute, like it took him forever to steel himself up to say that one sentence, and he was honestly impressed that Matthew had enough balls to interrupt him. "Fine then, _Matteo_," Lovino started again, using the Italian variant to see if Matthew would gather up enough courage to correct him again. "I'm going to help you."

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that..."

"I know," Lovino began walking out, only slowing slightly to glare at Matthew when he didn't follow quickly enough, "That's what makes me so fucking nice. Now, which one is it?"

"It's Ju-"

"Birdie!" And then _Julchen fucking Beilschmidt_ was there, crashing into Lovino's newest project, trying to give him like 20 different kinds of water. _She likes him_, he thought absentmindedly, looking around for someone that a nice, quiet guy like Matthew would like. Before he looked over and saw Matthew smiling at her retreating back, several waters in his arms, the same dumb as hell look on his face that the Potato Bitch got when she was looking at Ali. _Fucking hell._

"Dio Mio," Lovino ran a hand down his face, because _of-fucking course_, the guy would like the best friend of Lovino's main problem. "Per favore, tell me it's not her."

"Why? What's wrong with Jules?" Matthew asked, the very picture of defensive. This guy was _smitten_.

It was bad business to insult the matches, so Lovino waved away the extensive list of the Albino's faults. "Nothing wrong with her, per say. Well, aside from her being arrogant and a potato-"

"Potato?" Matthew's nose scrunched up in confusion, "What-?"

"-But it's more that she's friends with- Never mind. She's fine. Whatever. I can do this." Lovino nodded, his pep talk working because he _could_ do this, he had had to make worse matches with worse people, and walked into the sea of tables. When he didn't hear the light steps of his newest assignment following, he turned around and scowled at the boy. "Are you coming or not, bastard?"

Matthew quickly scampered along, following Lovino to his back corner table where Dmitri, Chun-Yan, and her eternal Russian Shadow (More commonly known as Anya Braginskaya) waited- right by the best window in the Caf - muttering apologies along the way.

God, Lovino sure as hell had his work cut out for him.

* * *

_**Sono etero -** I'm straight_

_Poor Lovi. Here begins the main arc of conflict. And may I just say, don't kiss people if they don't want to kiss you. Don't do what Antonio did, that was honestly a dick move, especially since he has at least a vague idea of Lovino's jumbled feelings._

_The scratched out part of the note section says "She was a project"_

_Um, some things to clear up, mama and papa Vargas aren't evil or anything, they're just old-fashioned. If the Vargas parents knew about Lovino and/or Alice's sexual preferences, then they would probably be fine because they're their children and they do love them. They just grew up in a time where being gay was probably the worst thing you could be, and if your child was gay, it meant that you did a bad job raising them. While that's not an excuse for their behavior, I feel like you should know that they aren't like, super horrible and they would never hate Lovi and Ali._

_And! New people sort of named at the end!_

_**Dmitri -** Nyo!Ukraine_

_**Chun-Yan -** Nyo!China_

_**Anya -** Nyo!Russia_

_See you next writing time!_


	3. angry

**Some alleyway, Italy (Age 11)**

Lovino Vargas stared at the sky. Everything ached, he could barely see out of his left eye, and the metallic tang of blood covered his taste buds.

"Lovino..." A hesitantly quiet, high pitched voice said from above him and oh yeah, Alice was there too. "Fratellone, we still have to go get mama's groceries."

Lovino pulled himself up, wincing minimally. Alice was worrying the sheet of paper in her hands, an uncharacteristic frown on her face. Lovino hated it when she frowned.

"Yeah, sorry Ali, I was just resting for a moment," Lovino stretched, subtly taking account of all the new bruises that littered his skin, and got completely up.

"Lovi, we don't have to go, we can ask someone to use their phone and mama would understand, I'm sure that she-"

"If you don't hurry up, I'll leave you behind," Lovino started limping to the store, ignoring his sister's worries. If he continued on, town gossip would tell his mother that he'd gotten into _another_ fight, and he wouldn't have a chance to explain himself, and that would suck, but…

_"Atta boy! Protecting little Ali's honor and still getting stuff for my Lola, now _that's _a real Vargas man!"_

But Lovino would be fine.

They walked in silence, until Alice mumbled, quietly enough that Lovino knew that he wasn't supposed to hear it, "Why do you always get into fights for me?"

Lovino deflated a bit, not enough to be noticed, but still. No matter how noble he liked to make it seem, besides the fact that the fights _were_ about those older bastards having the nerve to call _his _baby sister a _troia_, they weren't completely for her. Yes, it was the calls of _"Look, it's the troia that looks like a boy!" _that first caught his attention, but it was the following _"And her girly big brother too! Hey, Vargas, you should trade your jeans for the troia's skirt, eh?"_ that really, truly pulled him in. He was selfish, he knew it, but Lovino Vargas was a Vargas man, he _was_, and he would be treated like one, damn it!

As the duo neared Moretti's, the only store that the Vargas' gave their support to because of friendship ties, Lovino stopped because _Gabriele is in there, no, no, I still have another week, he's not supposed to be here yet, why the fuck is he back this early?_

Gabriele Moretti, Lovino's best (only) friend in Italy, was - objectively speaking, never in Lovino's own opinion, _never_ \- handsome. He'd been an awkward kid, all limbs and skin and bones, but then his parents had sent him off to some boarding school in England and he'd came back... _different_. Over his school year, Gabriele's shoulder had widened and he had started working out, finally filling out his lanky frame. He'd grown out his hair, so the deep black locks (That he now held in a _ponytail_, of all things, and it looked _good_ and not at all girly on him) perfectly framed his paler-than-average face and made his grey eyes pop. Lovino had been asked - several times, by several different girls - if Gabriele had a girlfriend or anything (He didn't know, Gabri had never mentioned anyone in their five years of best friendship, and Lovino didn't care anyway, he _didn't_). He was nice as well, making him the "perfect" guy in many of Lovino's female classmates' eyes.

"Gabri's back in town," Alice said, glancing between the window that displayed Lovino's best friend and Lovino's frozen figure, "I could always get the stuff by myself, you don't have to go in."

"No, I'll be good. What could Gabri do to me anyway?"

The bell over the door tinkled as the Vargas pushed their way in, and the teen at the counter looked up from his book, customer service smile plastered on. "Welcome to Moretti's! We're having a sale on tomat- Oh my god."

"_Ciao_, Gabri," said Lovino weakly, "You're back early."

"Don't you 'Ciao Gabri!' me, Lovino Vargas! Look at you!" He turned towards the back of the store, "Mama! Mama, I'm taking my break, Lovi and Ali just came in!"

Mrs. Moretti came out, only tsking lightly at Lovino's disarray, "Okay, Gabriele. The frozen peas that we have upstairs would probably be the best for that eye."

"Got it! _Grazie_, mama!" Gabriele hopped over the counter, grabbed Lovino's arm harshly and started to pull him up the stairs, Alice trailing silently behind them. When they were upstairs Gabriele let go and pointed at the kitchen table.

"You, sit." Lovino nodded, and Gabriele turned to Alice, smiling lightly, "Do you want anything, Ali? Water, juice? I could probably get you a soda from downstairs, on the house of course."

"Just water would be fine, thank you, Gabri."

"No problem, anything for a pretty girl, si?" Gabriele winked and nudged her on his way past, and it only bothered Lovino because Alice was his little sister and nothing else, really. Gabriele stopped to glare at Lovino, normally bright eyes turned stormy, "If you move, I'll give you another black eye. You know I'd do it."

And Lovino did, just like he knew that Gabriele was only being aggressive because he was worried as fuck, but that didn't stop him from grumbling after the other boy had left. "Dumb Gabri, gone for five months and comes back thinking he knows everything, threatening me when the he doesn't even know what happened, that jerk."

"I'm sorry, Fratello!" Ali exclaimed suddenly, eyes wet with tears, "I'm sorry, if I had just-"

"Don't apologize; I'm your older brother! It's my _job_ to get fucked up fighting dickheads who're mean to you."

The blubbering stopped and her eyes widened, but she continued to argue. "But if I wasn't so clumsy then papa would let me keep my hair longer and I wouldn't look like a boy, and if I hadn't kissed Hilie-"

"Alice Margherita Vargas, shut the fuck up," Lovino growled as he grabbed her face, easing up at her slight wince, "You loved that annoying German girl, right?" He let go, waiting until Alice nodded hesitantly to continue. "Then don't you dare apologize. No one, _no one_, can tell you that you can't kiss whoever the fuck you want, even if it's a dumb potato bitch, and if they do then they'll have to deal with me, you understand?"

Alice nodded, wiping at her face, before hugging Lovino. "Grazie, fratellone. Grazie."

"Don't mention it, Ali," Lovino ruffled her hair and did his best to not gasp as she literally squeezed _all_ of his bruises, "Now get off of me."

* * *

**Romulus Vargas' American home, America (Age 16)**

It was 7 am, a good 40 minutes before his alarm would even _go off_, and Lovino Vargas was awake.

He was going to kill Lotte.

**❣ (=^ω^=) ❣**

**Hi hi Lovino!**

_**What do you want**_

**Oh, I can just feel your energy this morning! But I digress.**

**I need you to come into school early, i.e. don't skip first bell (= ^ᆺ****^=)**

_**Why**_

**I have something for you (= 6ω6 =)**

_**Just tell me now**_

**Nope! (= ↀωↀ)~* See you before first bell!**

_**I hate you**_

**Love you too, 'Vino!**

Lovino weighed the pros and cons of actually going to first bell (Pro: Not getting on Lotte's bad side, cons: literally everything else). _Fuck it, she'll just have to wait._

Just as he thought he could maybe go back to sleep for another half an hour, Alice burst into his room, hair askew.

"Fratello! Oh, you're awake, buono! Sakura is sick and Mr. B's car is in the shop and sorellona Julie doesn't get picked up until right before first bell, so Moni wanted me to ask you if you could drive us both to school today? Please?"

Lovino groaned, because he was a teenage boy and he would whine if he wanted to, damn it. "But it's _so early_. You can't just ask a guy to wake up this early with nothing in return, Ali."

"I'm sure 'Tonio wouldn't mind!" Alice smiled at her brother's completely unamused face, "It'd really mean a lot to me. Pretty please, with sugar on top?"

Lovino tried to not look at her, because he wasn't _heartless_ and he couldn't resist Alice's puppy eyes, but the pull was too much. "Goddamn it, fine! I'll drive you and your fucking potato to school."

"Not 'my potato' yet, fratello!" Alice trilled as she skipped out, "And we need to leave by 7:30 if we're going to have time to pick up 'Tonio and Moni, so start getting ready!"

Lovino whined at the door as she shut it, before dragging himself out of bed. He groggily opened his bedroom door and stepped out into the open area between his room, closet, and bathroom, nearly tripping on a pair of shoes in the process. He was halfway ready when he remembered something.

"Goddamn it, I have to wake up the idiot. Shit." Lovino went back into his room and picked up his phone, dialing a number that he'd never admit to knowing by heart.

_"Hola? Qu-Que tal?"_ Antonio's voice was gruff with sleep and Lovino quickly schooled the part of his mind that quite enjoyed the rough-yet-smooth sound of early morning Spanish.

"Good morning, bastard!" Lovino yelled, allowing himself to smirk when the Spaniard audibly fell out of bed. He could see why Antonio always yelled good morning to him now. "I'm going to be at your front door in… less than 15 minutes. Be dressed."

_"Lovi, what do you mean? It's not even 8 yet!"_

"I mean that if you don't want to _walk to school_ then you'll get your ass up. Goodbye."

"Wait, Lovi-"

Lovino disconnected the call, focusing on getting ready again. As soon as he was done, and with five minutes to spare, he walked down the stairs, the ugly modern shit that his nonno's girlfriend had chosen barely even making him scrunch his nose. Nothing could ruin this.

"Look who's up!"

Lovino froze, hand halfway to a muffin, when he heard his grandfather's voice. Romulus Vargas was nearly 50 years old, but he still looked like he was in his late 30's, and his youthful looks got him more young women looking for a sugar daddy then Lovino cared to count. It was horrible.

"You're here," He said, coming off more surprised than he would've liked.

"Si, I am. It is my house after all."

Lovino turned around to face his grandfather. "Is it? I wouldn't know, with how often you're out sleeping with some throwaway girltoy."

Romulus' face contorted for a second, before it was forced back to a neutral look. "Lovino," he said warningly, "I don't take kindly to being judged by a child."

"I 'don't take kindly' to being called a _child _by the old man that constantly leaves me to raise Ali on my own," Lovino spat, not having inherited his grandfather's restraint. "Why the fuck are you here?"

Romulus rose from his seat, taking a few steps towards Lovino, "Now listen here, Lovino-"

"No, you listen, asshole!" Lovino snapped, pushing Romulus back, "You _promised_. You promised Ali that you wouldn't do this anymore and yet, here we fucking are. Is it worth it?" When his question was met with silence, Lovino continued, "Did you know that Ali actually worries about you when you don't call or text or anything? She isn't immune to your dickwad tendencies like how I am, okay? She actually cares, and it'd be fucking nice if you could remember that next time you decide to suddenly go to the next town over and hook up with some 20 year old."

"I- I'm sorry," Romulus said, quietly. Like how he always did.

"Save it, bastard, I'm not the one you need to apologize to," Lovino scoffed, wiping away the angry tears on his face, the angry tears that were fucking _always_ there after he 'talked' to nonno. He began walking to the garage, stopping only to call up the steps to Alice.

And to think that it had had the potential to be a good day.

* * *

Lovino surveyed the Vargas' rather extensive key rack, looking for the one he needed… there! The one to the four-seater Maserati. He preferred to drive his own Fiat (because driving a Maserati to school in this town was like yelling 'Yes, hello, I'm rich, please continue to harass me about it forever!') but it was small and, while it was fine when it was just two teenage boys, the back seat would be cramped for the girls. Besides, he didn't want his pretty car infested with gross potato germs (And, yes, Lovino did know deep in his mind that he was slightly ridiculous with the whole Monika thing, but this was his baby sister's first real love interest in forever that they were talking about here!). He walked into the 5-car garage, stopping at his own bright yellow Fiat to take his parking pass out, and started the car. Alice was in it a moment later, babbling excitedly about something, probably Monika or school related and the two were off to go get Antonio.

When they pulled up in front of the Fernandez-Carriedo's, Lovino had to actually get out and knock. Mrs. Carriedo answered the door, looking flawless as usual despite the fact that she had probably just gotten out of bed.

"Good morning, Lovino. Are you here for Antonio?" She asked, accent marking her voice as softly as her smile did her face. At Lovino's answering nod, she turned and yelled some sharp Spanish back into the house. Lovino shivered at the stern look on her face because _damn_, Mrs. Carriedo was scary. The answering voice was whiny and muffled and unmistakably Antonio's. Seconds later, the Spaniard was hoping down the stairs as he stuffed papers into his backpack, holding a piece of toast between his teeth.

"Lovi!" He spoke as soon as he got his backpack on properly and could grab his toast, obviously surprised by Lovino being at his door, "I didn't think you meant it literally."

"I said to be ready, didn't I?" Lovino asked, the _bastard_ that he normally would've added on going unsaid.

"Ah, si, sorry! Let me go grab your coffee and we can go!"

Lovino sighed as Antonio nearly tripped trying to run to the kitchen, before turning to Mrs. Carriedo. "Sorry to bother you, ma'am."

"Nonsense, Lovino, it isn't your fault that my son is horribly clumsy," She replied ruffling Lovino's hair, punctuating the sentence with a yawn. "I just wish that he'd stop waking me up… But you can go back to your car - Oh, you have the red one today! I like that one; it's very pretty looking, si? - and I'll tell him to go out."

Lovino nodded thankfully, saying a quick "Grazie, signora!" before going back to his car.

Alice, who was now texting at a speed that Lovino could only dream of, first words upon noting his return were "Lotte says that you better be almost to school by now."

"Tell Lotte that she's lucky that I'm even coming in early," Lovino huffed, "Needy Belgian girls with their cat emotes and their headbands."

Antonio chose that moment to open the door and get in (and he _slammed_ _it shut _behind himself, why did he find it necessary to always slam Lovino's car doors?). Lovino started off towards the Beilschmidt house, they picked up Monika, and they were at school soon thereafter.

When they arrived at the school, Lovino was nearly knocked over by Lotte. He instinctively looked around for her extremely terrifying and very jealous boyfriend, sighing in relief when he wasn't there.

"'Vino! You actually came! I mean, Ali said you were going to, but she's only a reliable source 60% of the time, so…" Lotte trailed off, before reaching into her bag and pulling out an envelope. "Here you go! It's my anniversary with Vash, and I'm having a party. You're invited and encouraged to bring a plus one." She winked and made exaggerated glances at Antonio, who was lingering several feet away. Lovino glared at the other teen, and he pouted but made his way to class nonetheless.

"Why do you keep doing this when you hate him? I'll be coming alone, like always," Lovino huffed, before remembering that _he had a project_. "Wait, is the albino going to be there?"

Lotte rocked on her heels, "I don't know... if I invite her, then I have to invite the other two, which means actually giving an invitation to Fernandez…"

Lovino sighed. He thought over how much he valued his privacy and his pride. _Missing out on a classically easy scenario to get the dummies together, or_ _selling out for the sake of some guy that I'm helping_. Lovino thought of how Julchen had looked at the blond the day before, and how Matthew had looked back at her. Damn it, he knew what he had to do.

"I'll bring someone if you invite Julchen."

If someone said that Lovino was selfish, he'd invent a time machine and bring them back to that moment.

"You will?" Lotte's eyebrows rose, before she considered it, looking as sly as the cats she so loved. "Hm, I suppose I can just get Vash to hand Antonio his invite or better yet, I can just make Francis give them out to both of them. Two annoying birds with one rose, if you will."

Lovino took the invitation from her, pushing his coffee tumbler into the crook of his elbow, "Thanks, Lots, it means a lot."

"Yes, yes," Lotte waved him off, "Whoever you're bringing better be great."

Lovino shrugged, not really wanting divulge everything to her, waved goodbye, and started towards the study hall room. Once he arrived, he was surprised to see Matthew, sitting right there, reading. Like reading a _normal_ book, not doing last minute homework or anything. _This kid is weird._ Lovino ignored where Antonio was waving at him from and sat with the bespectacled blond instead.

Lovino sat down heavily, reveling for a moment in how he spooked Matthew, before beginning to drink his morning coffee

"Lovino? You're in this class?" Matthew blinked at Lovino's nod, "... I've never seen you before."

"It's fucking first bell study hall," Lovino said, before explaining, "Almost everyone skips it," when Matthew looked confused. God, this kid was _weird_. He glanced around the room, apparently trying to see if Lovino's claim had any evidence. Lovino looked around as well, turning back quickly when he caught Antonio's eye from across the room.

"Hm... I suppose so. Why are you here then?"

"Several reasons," Lovino sighed, counting them off on his fingers, "The potato bitch's car is in the shop, so I had to drive her and Ali along with the tomato bastard, I got a text from Lotte about something 'super duper important', and I'm giving you an opportunity to get closer to the albino."

"Um... what?"

Lovino rolled his eyes because if he wasn't such a saint, he'd have given up on this one by now. "Short version: Ali, Alice, is my sorellina - ugh, damn it, sorry, habit; my _little sister_ \- and the potato bitch is her girlfriend, in everything but name, aka Monika Beilschmidt, your albino's little sister. Lotte, as in Lotte Peeters – Blonde Belgian girl, always wears a headband," Lovino was reaching, but Matthew continued to stare blankly at him, "You'd probably know her if you saw her - texted me and then gave me this," He paused to toss the invitation at Matthew, "Which is an invitation to attend a party to celebrate her anniversary with a guy that I set her up with. You're coming with me, because I know for a fact that Julchen and her duo of idiots are going to be there, and, as the Spice Girls said, 'you gotta get with her friends'. Got all that?"

"Uh, I think so?" Matthew flipped the envelope in his hands while Lovino bemoaned the fact that he had just used a Spice Girls lyric in normal conversation. _Unironically_. He needed more male friends. "Oh, but how do you know all that if the envelope is still closed? And didn't you say something about a 'tomato bastard'? You didn't explain him."

"I have my sources, Matteo. I'm not the most successful matchmaker in town for nothing, damn it," Lovino huffed, congratulating himself for not lighting up like a Christmas tree at the mention of the owner of the green eyes that were staring a hole into the back of his head. "A-and as for the tomato bastard, he doesn't fucking matter. He's an irrelevant idiot. Don't ask about him again."

Matthew blinked, he did a lot of that, but he didn't push the issue. _Maybe this guy isn't too bad._

* * *

_AND HERE WE ARE!_

_I made this (and htwap) my nanovels, so I'm actually working on them :D_

_This chapter is like the size of the whole fic thus far, and I divided this thing in half once already omg._

_So, we got to meet Gabri this chapter, who's excited? I am. Especially for next chapter. We'll see how much I update, seeing as most of my days are filled w writing, but I'm ahead thanks to nano word sprints, so! New chapter :D_

_Hope you all enjoyed~_


	4. embarrassing

_Heyo my darling readership!_

_This chapter is actually part 2 of last chapter but it was soooo long so I cut it in half, and voila! As such, there's not Italian flashback._

_Also:_

_1\. my nano this year was... THIS SERIES (!) and while I'm well below 50k, I did get a lot of work/plotting done, especially with Gwen and Alice's fics (neither of which will be released until htwap is done, at the very least)._

_2\. The bolded text is stuff in a language that Lovino understands._

* * *

Lovino honked more times than strictly necessary when he pulled up to Matthew's address. He instantly regretted that when Alfred F. Jones (Williams-Jones? Lovino didn't know or care) ran out and began touching his car.

"Go away, you American vermin!"

"'Vino, your car is fucking _awesome_," The American ignored Lovino, "What year is it? Does it have heated seats? How much did it cost? Is this color custom? It's really bright, but that's cool too!"

"No, shoo, I'm not answering your dumb questions, leave my car alone."

"But, _dude_," Alfred started, only to be interrupted by Matthew's sudden appearance.

"Ah, is there something wrong?" Matthew asked, cheeks pinkening.

"Are you seriously wearing that?" Lovino stared at his clothes. Honestly, it wasn't too bad, definitely not the worst that Lovino had seen when he told people to dress 'casually'. Matthew hadn't changed since school, besides taking off that horrible flannel _thing _that he had been wearing - thank _god_ \- but he still looked decent. Lovino could work with this.

"Yes? You said it was casual, right?"

Lovino clicked his tongue, keeping up his unimpressed facade. "Ugh, I forgot that that's American for casual. Whatever, it'll work. Come on."

"Hey, 'Vino, wait!" Alfred yelled as they began to pull away.

"What do you want?"

Alfred looked away, staring at the ground intensely. _Oh god, I think I know what this is about. _"Er, I just wanted to know if you had thought about… the _thing_ that I asked you about… you know?"

Lovino sighed, because sometimes he hated being right. He mentally cursed Guinevere and her apparent 'attractiveness'. "Yeah yeah, of course I know. Look, Alfred, I would love to help you and the wino and every fucking other idiot who's attracted to her for _some _reason, but she said that if I wanted her help - and Dio knows that I need it, even if I don't want it - then I'm not allowed to match her. Mi dispiace, but my hands are fucking tied."

"Yeah, no, it's fine. No problem, 'Vino, I understand." Alfred waved and Lovino drove off, glad to have dodged that bullet.

"Ah," Matthew started, and Lovino didn't have to glance over to know that the other boy was doing that weird hair twisting thing, "Who's this girl? I kind of… thought Alfred was gay."

Lovino winced, he honestly shouldn't have because it was _just a word_, but he did anyway. "That'd sure make things easier; our school has a fucking abundance of gay."

"**And you would know, right,** **brother?**" Alice said in Italian and giggled and _damn it_, he should have never agreed to ferry his sister to the party.

"Shut the fuck up, Ali, **no one asked you!**" Lovino growled back, feeling his face heat up.

Lovino saw Alice shake her head in his rearview mirror, "**Ah, but someone asked me~**"

"Tsk, **who the hell would ask you?**"

Alice grinned and Lovino tensed because _oh shit_, he'd just played into her trap, damn it, _every single fucking time_.

"**You know, no one important,**" She paused, grin widening as Lovino's expression became more and more horrified, "**Just 'Tonio.**"

Lovino flushed instantly, shooting back a quick, "**That bastard doesn't count.**"

"**Because he's too biased to count?**" Alice asked, her smile bordering a smirk.

"**No, because he's a fucking idiot, and no one cares what he has to say either.**" The car jerked as Lovino slammed on the brakes. He pulled open his door and yanked his seat forward. "We're here. Get the fuck out of my car."

The girls got out and Lovino grabbed Matthew's are to keep him from following them. "Stay. We have to wait for her," He glanced down at his phone, "She says shouldn't take too long. Idiot, texting while she's 'driving'. I hope she crashes."

"But who is she?"

Before Lovino could answer, Guinevere's painfully pink Vespa came up to the curve. He clicked his tongue at her definition of 'casual' partywear, from the ripped jeans to the leather jacket. Yeah, she looked good, but she was more suited to a biker bar than a mild party.

"You should wear a helmet, bitch," Lovino said after he was done appraising her outfit

"As if I need one," She replied, flipping a ponytail over her shoulder, "I drive like a normal human being, unlike _some_ wankers."

She stared at Lovino, and he accepted the challenge, staring back seriously until she started to giggle. He laughed along, until he heard a quiet "Eh?" from Matthew.

"Oh," Lovino gestured to Guinevere, "This bitch is Guinevere Kirkland. She's going to help you get along with the rest of the pervert trio."

"You're not coming with me?" Matthew asked, sounding way too worried for someone who'd had less than three proper conversations with Lovino.

Lovino's blush came back full force, because even if he was back at pretend-that-you-don't-know-about-Antonio's-huge-embarrassing-crush square one, he was still avoiding the Spaniard whenever possible. "No, I… I can't go near those bastards. For reasons."

Guinevere cackled, "You're still whining about that? Bloody hell, Lovino, grow a pair already!"

"Fuck you! I'm not bitching about it, I just…" Lovino floundered for a phrase, "Don't want to deal with it."

Matthew interrupted the argument. "Who?"

"Has Lovino not told you about his-"

"Nothing! My nothing, because it is nothing," Lovino sent Guinevere a hard look, to which she responded with a sarcastic zipped lips motion. "Come on, time to go meet the Bad Touch Trio."

* * *

**Tomato Bastard**

_**(7:12 AM)**_

**pls dont be srs abt the coming to get me thing its way to early**

**ur serious arent u**

_**(8:20 AM)**_

**lovi why r u sitting w that boy and not me :C**

**who is he?**

_**(9:23 AM)**_

**lovi lovi lovi lovi**

_**(10:36 AM)**_

**im gonna throw a pencil u kay**

**i dont think ms k will care/notice**

_**(10:43 AM)**_

**im fine btw. ms k wasnt too mad**

_**(10:57 AM)**_

**r u going to lottes prty? fran just gave me and julie invites**

**i thought she hated me jajajaja**

**good to know thats not a thing :D**

_**(11:20 AM)**_

**loooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii**

_**(11:35 AM)**_

**y wont u answer my texts?**

**did i do smth wrong?**

**r u mad at me? how can i fix it?**

_**(12:00 PM)**_

**fine lovi ill give u space but im not happy abt it v.v**

_**(5:21 PM)**_

_Thank you_

**LOVI!**

_Calm down. What happened to "space"?_

**that was /hrs/ ago lovi now is different okay**

_Fine, whatever._

_You and the goon squad are at Lotte's, right?_

**si! fran got us a couch in the basement**

**their basement is so nice**

_Stay there._

**pq?**

**lovi why thoooooooooo?**

_Jesus christ, stop asking questions._

_Just keep yourself and your dumb friends in the goddamn basement._

* * *

Lovino led them both through the Peeters' front door, nodding as they breezed past the blonde hostess. He weaved through the crowd of students, looking back every now and then to make sure that neither of them had gotten lost. He paused at the basement door.

"Okay, they're down here, apparently."

"Are they now?" Guinevere raised one knowing eyebrow and Lovino stuck his tongue out. "Well, you can call me when you need my assistance."

Lovino grabbed her leather covered arm, "Like hell. You're going down there, you _owe me_."

Guinevere huffed, mumbling about how it was 'unfair' that Lovino still held the Vespa thing over her, but followed him downstairs anyway. Mere seconds after the trio had descended, Julchen had pulled Matthew into a tight hug.

"Birdie!"

Matthew's face was as red as his sneakers. _This is going to be _so easy_, thank you god._ "Hey Jules…"

"C'mon, you gotta come sit with me and Tonio and Franny! You'll love them; they're almost as awesome as me!" Julchen began pulling Matthew over to the couch that BTT had apparently chosen, throwing a quick "And I guess Gwenie and Lovi can come too," over her shoulder.

Lovino and Guinevere's reactions were practiced and near-simultaneous.

"Don't call me 'Lovi'."

"My name is Guinevere, Snow White."

Julchen ignored them, as always, instead presenting Matthew like how someone would introduce their crush to their parents. "Tonio, Franny! This is Matthew Williams-Jones. Birdie, Francis and... Antonio?"

Lovino screeched as Antonio fucking _materialized_ next to him, wrapping his arms around the unwilling Italian. "Get the fuck off, you dumb bastard!"

"Lovi~" Antonio merely tightened his hold the more Lovino squirmed, and began nuzzling Lovino's head as he continued in Spanish, "**I missed you! Why didn't you sit with me in study hall?**"

"I don't fucking speak Spanish, idiota," Lovino mumbled, pushing Antonio away as he contradicted his previous statement by answering, "And I was busy talking to Matteo, not that it's your concern."

"So you're 'Matteo', si?" Lovino sighed at the slightly (extremely) creepy smile on Antonio's face. He was in a mood again.

"Ah, yes, Matthew Williams-Jones. Pleased to meet you..."

"Ahaha," The harsh, fake laugh made shivers run down Lovino's spine, "Well, it's always nice to meet _mi _Lovinito's friends~"

"I'm not 'your' anything," Lovino growled, grabbing Matthew's arm and forcing him onto the couch, successfully stealing Julchen and Antonio's spots.

"Um, Lovino," Matthew started, "Shouldn't we-"

Lovino shot a look at Matthew, shutting him up instantly. "Wino! Go get more chairs, and take Guinevere with you. Albino Potato, sit."

Francis winked at Lovino, because he was nearly as good at spotting romantic stuff as Lovino was. "Of course, Lovino; anything for l'amour~ Come along, ma cheri Genevieve."

"How fucking hard is it to just call me Guinevere, frog?"

As the duo walked off bickering, Julchen plopped down next to Matthew. "Franny's always talkin' about 'l'amour', but half the time, I can't even figure out what he's referring to. Do you know, Toni?"

Antonio, who had stolen a chair from a nearby group, glanced at Matthew and Lovino, grin faltering, "I... have an idea, yes..."

Lovino groaned, resisting the urge to physically stop the Spanish idiot from talking. "If you keep suggesting things, I _will _leave."

Antonio pouted at Lovino, obviously not pleased with how Lovino hadn't given him a straight answer. _Yeah, well, fuck you, you have no right to be jealous. I don't like you like that. I don't._

"I still don't know what's going on," Matthew chimed in.

Julchen sighed dramatically, "It happens all the time around these two, and Fran knows what's going on but I don't; it's so unawesome."

"Seeing as your definition of awesome includes yourself, I'm pretty sure I don't want to be 'awesome'," Lovino stood and stretched, before starting towards the stairs, "I'm going to pay my respect to Lotte and make sure that Skulls and Roses didn't kill each other yet. You three, bond or some shit," He paused, deciding that it'd probably be useful to at least tell Antonio to stop being a dick. "And god damn it, stop it already."

Antonio huffed like the child that he was, and Lovino ascended the stairs.

* * *

_am i doing conflict right? this antonio is really weird for me to write, because he purposely crosses lines, and he's really clingy and possessive and stuff (usually my tonio is nice and sweet and only accidentally mean (/cough but hes always possessive, i'm sorry i like jealous spain)), but i think i'm easing into it as we go along._

_also, no flashback this time bc this is technically the second half of chap 3 (i told you i split that one in half) and so last chap's flashback still goes w this chapter (don't worry, we get more young lovi and gabri next chap :D), but i found a new ios7 text message generator, so thats a thing now_

_also i just now realized that not everyone knows spanish texting slang, so **pq? is shortened porque which means "why?"**  
_

_To all the Americans: Happy Thanksgiving, and #staywoke_

_see y'all eventually._


	5. normal

_More Gabriele and Lovino stuff, feat. gelato-sicles; Antonio and Lovino have a conversation that honestly has been a long time coming; and Lovino meets the rest of the Jones-Williams_

_Also, no intermission this chap because I couldn't think of something to do. Sry._

_TW for homophobic language_

* * *

**Sorriso park, Italy (Age 12)**

"Do you ever think about how life would be if you were a girl?"

Lovino paused, midway to biting into his gelato-sicle. "What?"

"You know, if one little thing changed and you were a _bella_ instead of, well, you." Gabriele sighed, resting his head on his bent knee. "It's weird to think about… How easily everything could've been different."

"You're weird, Gabri," Lovino shot him a look out of the corner of his eye, mouth full of gelato, "And if you were a girl, you'd be a _really_ weird one."

"What, you don't think I'm pretty?" Gabriele laughed and Lovino laughed with him, despite the memories of dinner stories and sharp nails on his cheeks poking at the back of his mind.

"I think you're full of it."

Gabriele nudged Lovino, nearly knocking him off the bench. _Dummy, doesn't even know his own strength._ "No, but really. What if you were a girl, what do you think you'd be like?"

"I'd be a horrible girl, with all the fights I get into. Not to mention the mouth on me; damn, I don't think I'd survive long by myself before someone'd try and beat some sense into me, girl or not."

"I'd protect you if you were a girl," Gabriele met Lovino's eyes, so sure in his statement that Lovino's heart skipped a beat. "Plus, the guys around here don't bother cute girls, even if they are mouthy."

Lovino snorted, "Who's saying I'd be cute?"

"I am." Gabriele said it flippantly, but Lovino's stomach still flipped at the words. "I mean, you're good looking now, just imagine you with some curves and long eyelashes; you'd be a knockout. You'd probably look like your mom, but without the bottle blonde hair."

"Are you saying you think my mom's hot?" Lovino quirked a brow, trying to laugh it off even though his heart was beating harder than it ever had before. _Stop that. He's just saying you'd look okay as a girl, just to be nice. And shouldn't you be getting offended by that!?_

"I'm saying that if your dad was out of the picture, she'd have to beat off the boys with a cane."

"And you'd be right there with them, right?"

Gabriele took a bite of his own snack. "Blondes aren't really my type."

"Then what is your type? Please, tell me, so I can have something to tell the girls at school when they harass me about it."

Gabriele shrugged, looking at Lovino with way too much intensity. Lovino's breath caught, suddenly aware of how small the bench was, of how much he and Gabriele were touching.

"You'd be my type. If you were a girl, that is."

* * *

**The Peeter's home, Present day**

Lovino scanned the crowd, cursing his average height, looking for a bow-topped blonde.

"If it isn't my favorite Italian!" Lotte released Vash's arm to give Lovino a _really fucking tight _hug (he had forgotten that Lotte's arm game was strong, both literally and figuratively). "You made it! Not that you'd dare to _not_ go to one of my parties, of course."

"Hello Lovino," Vash Zwingli - Lotte's bodyguard/protective boyfriend, a terrifying guy who had once knocked Alfred out with an apple thrown from 30 feet away - nodded at Lovino, apparently not perturbed by the fact that his girlfriend was still hanging off of the Italian. Lovino didn't know whether to be insulted or thankful. Vash continued, "Süsse, I think your brother is trying to spike the punch. Again."

"He just won't give up will he? Be a dear and go stop him please, Vash. And tell him if he keeps it up, I'll tell mother about the stuff he keeps under his floorboards!" Lotte waved Vash away before rounding on Lovino again. "So, I saw you come in with Kirkland and some boy. Was that your plus one?"

"It's not like that, but yes." Lovino rolled his eyes, "Not that it matters; I don't know why you give out invites if you don't enforce them."

"Because official invitations mean that it's a 'respectable gathering' and father will pay for it. We rich kids have to play the game, you know how it is," Lotte shrugged, before switching the topic back. "Anyway, info on this new guy; name, age, reason why he's here if 'it's not like that'?"

"Matthew Williams-Jones, our age probably, and he's a project because he has a huge crush on the Albino for some reason. Also, I'm _still _not gay."

Lotte hummed noncommittally, and she probably would've continued harassing him, if Antonio hadn't shown up at that moment.

"Lovi, gracias al Dio, that took- Oh, hi, Lotte!"

"Oh, Antonio. I forgot that you were here."

Antonio beamed, "Of course! I'd never miss a friend's party!"

Lovino cut off Lotte's probably-going-to-be-passive-aggressive reply. "What the fuck are you doing up here?"

"Kirkland and Franny came back and they said they hadn't seen you and-"

"And I told you to stay down there and get to know Matteo."

Lotte and Antonio both echoed 'Matteo', Lotte in a curious, confused manner and Antonio in a downright growl. Before Antonio could get started on his dumb jealous tirade - because Lovino could feel it coming, like a storm off the sea - Lovino cut in.

"Is there anywhere that the idiot and I can go to talk? Preferably someplace with less people."

Lotte pointed to the patio door and Lovino wasted no time dragging Antonio out there.

"Okay, what the hell is your problem?"

"My problem is that you ignore me for a day, and only start talking to me again when you need a place to take your other friends!" Antonio huffed, "Not to mention that you ditched me for some other guy."

"Are we really doing this now? Here, of all places?" The patio wasn't as crowded as inside, but there were still people there.

Antonio nodded, resolute. "If I let this go now, you'll do that dumb avoiding thing, again, and we'll never talk about whatever this is, and we can't keep tiptoeing around it."

Lovino rolled his eyes, because _honestly. "_Can you just chill for a couple of hours and we can hash this out somewhere _less public_?"

"No, Lovino, because it'll never happen! Just because you're all 'conceal, don't feel' doesn't mean-"

"What? Are you, are you accusing me of being _emotionally repressed_?"

"Yeah?" Antonio scrunched up his face like he couldn't believe that Lovino was arguing against it. "You sort of are. Like, really repressed."

"_Excuse you!? No,_ I'm- I cannot believe that _you_-!" Lovino was _not _repressing anything and _How dare that bastard say otherwise!_ "No. You want to know why I keep putting it off, do you really? It's because you act like an annoying, obsessive _child_, and I don't think you can handle a discussion about anything more serious than the score of last night's Real Madrid game."

There was a gasp, and a quiet 'ooo, burn'. The fog of anger cleared a bit, and Lovino was suddenly aware that there were at least five other people around. _Shit._

"Look, Antonio-"

"At least I'm nice! Maybe if you weren't such a _dick_, people who aren't in love with you would be willing to at least _pretend_ to tolerate you!"

_"People who aren't in love with you"_, the words hovered in air after the rest of the sentence had faded into the wind.

_Fuck._

Antonio froze, moving only to belatedly clamp a hand over his mouth, as if willing the words to go back to being a heavy, unsaid cloud over their 'best friendship'. It wasn't a surprise, Lovino wasn't dumb, but blurting it out during a argument? _This is cliche as fuck. My life isn't a fucking romcom. _Regardless of the ridiculousness of the situation, Lovino was still affected because, well, it was a _love confession_.

"I'm... I'm not..." Lovino mumbled, before clearing his throat. He recomposed himself, remembering that he was a Vargas, damn it, and he could fix this. "Ahem, thanks for the life lesson, boy-meets-world. I'll try to be more pleasant in the future."

Lovino even threw in a believable eye roll, ready to pretend that Antonio hadn't just said he was in love. Which is why he was surprised when Antonio groaned.

"You know what," Antonio started, one hand planted firmly on his forehead. "Fuck you, Lovino. I try, _realmente_, I do. I pour so much into this, whatever _this_ is, and you can't even _not _treat this like a joke."

Lovino startled, because Antonio only cursed when he was upset, and he didn't know where he had gone wrong. Lovino had seen the hope mixed in with the embarrassment and surprise in Antonio's eyes, and what else could he-

_Oh my god._

"Oh my god." Lovino ran a hand through his hair and choked out a laugh, desperately hoping it didn't sound as hysterical or nervous as he thought it did. "You think I'm in love with you too."

"Um, yes? I thought that was where this was clearly going."

"Oh my fuck, _Antonio_, I'm-" A man, a Vargas, _normal- _"Not gay."

"What." Antonio looked like someone had just told him a huge, world shattering secret.

"I'm straight. As a line. I've had girlfriends - you've met them and everything! - how did you not see this coming?"

"I thought those were covers; 'beards', you know? None of them ever lasted long and you never seemed sad about breaking up or them dating other guys, and I mean, I dated a couple girls before I was officially out, so I just thought..." Antonio had furrowed his eyebrows, and he looked so genuinely confused that Lovino wanted to both laugh and cry. "Are you sure, because you totally flirt with me, Franny and a bunch of people said so! And you check me out sometimes when you don't think I'm looking! Not to mention how you hated Jules because you thought we were dating, remember?"

"What? No! I'm not into you, Antonio, we're _friends_."

If '?' could be rendered as a sound, it'd be the noise that Antonio made.

"But-but, the kiss! You kissed me and didn't hate me instantly!"

"That was a dare, it doesn't count," Lovino ran a hand down his burning face. "And we said 'no homo', so it was okay."

Antonio gave Lovino an incredibly unimpressed look. "Are you seriously using 'no homo' as a reason that kissing me didn't count? No homo is the number one way to know that something _is _homo. Totally straight people don't do stuff that requires you to say 'no homo'."

"I guess they do, because _I'm straight _and I used it unironically. Wow, no homo actually meaning no homo, what an amazing concept!" Lovino was, admittedly, a bit hysterical now, because Antonio was _wrong_, he was obviously seeing things through rose-tinted lenses, and Lovino Vargas was _straight straight straight straight_.

"Are you sure? Because I mean, how can you know if you never-"

"Jesus fucking christ, Antonio, I'm not a _fag_!"

Everything went silent as the word hung in the - thick, too thick - air. Lovino's eyes widened, not quite believing that he had said that. "Oh god, I- I'm so sorr-"

"The others are probably wondering what's taking us so long. We should get back downstairs." Antonio's carefully neutral face betrayed no emotion and it was wrong wrong _wrong_, because Antonio was pure emotion, and Lovino had done this, but it was an _accident_ and he, he-

Lovino grabbed at Antonio's arm as he began to walk past. "Antonio, I didn't-"

"Whatever, Lovi. We can just pretend it didn't happen," Antonio looked back, his smile fake and huge and positively _blinding_, "You're good at that, right?"

* * *

Lovino followed him back inside. He walked downstairs and started talking to everyone and did absolutely nothing to apologize. He just went back down there, bullied Matthew into accompanying Julchen upstairs, did his matchmaking magic, meditated on what a _complete fuck up _and overall huge dick he was, and then pretended that absolutely nothing happened. Lovino was a coward.

Guinevere kept shooting him weird looks, because something had obviously happened - Antonio was basically ignoring him, which had only happened once before - and the whole thing was so weird and unsettling that Lovino honestly couldn't think of anything to do besides play along for twenty of the most awkward minutes of his life.

When the twenty minutes were up, he was so tired of Antonio ignoring him everything that he nearly sprinted upstairs, grabbed Matthew from Julchen (Who looked annoyed that he was taking Matthew, a good sign) and, after assurance from Alice that she would be sleeping over at the Beilschmidt's, left. It wasn't until he was already at Matthew's house that he realized that he'd be alone that night.

Alone. No Antonio to call or text at ridiculous times - God no, not after what had just happened - no Ali three rooms away. Just him, the creaky old building, and his thoughts.

"Want to go over to my house?" He asked without thinking, because social creepiness was less important than being stuck alone in that huge, suffocating house.

Matthew looked back at him with eyes almost as round as his glasses, "What?"

Lovino thought fast and deciding to go with his default "moody teen", he huffed and looked out his window. "I just suggested it because it would make it easier to brainstorm ideas to get the Mercury Lamp to notice you if you stayed over, but whatever." Lovino grimaced slightly at the comparison of Julchen to an anime character. He had to stop letting Alice guilt him into marathons with her and Sakura.

"No, no, I mean, I'd have to ask my parents, but that'd be great!" Matthew's surprisingly not creeped out voice startled Lovino a bit. "But, uh, 'Mercury Lamp'?"

"Julchen," Lovino clarified, before mentally cursing his use obscure anime references and the fact that no one ever got them.

"Oh, okay, cool. So just let me go ask my parents and pack a bag? You can come in if you want?" Matthew phrased his sentences like questions, his voice lilting at the end.

Lovino shrugged in answer and got out with the blond, heading up to the house.

"Okay, fair warning, my mom is...Well, she's not bad, per say, she's just..." Matthew paused at the door, taking a deep breath. "A lot like Al; I'll leave it at that. If you're lucky, then we'll only run into _maman_."

Lovino scrunched his face in confusion, "Wha-"

Lovino didn't finish because within the next second Matthew had opened the door and a _huge_, Snow White beast of some kind had attacked him. He heard a woman yell "Kuma!" but he was a bit preoccupied trying to get a creature that weighed roughly half as much as him to stop getting drool all over his face and hair and clothes.

The woman and Matthew got the creature off of him and Lovino busied himself wiping the gross spit off of his face.

"I'm so sorry for that, Kuma just gets overexcited... all the time," The woman apologized, drawing Lovino's attention.

Lovino blinked. She was pretty, probably still in her early 30's, and looked a great deal like Matthew, right down to the coke bottle glasses and the weird colored eyes. _This must be the mom_, Lovino thought, and laid on the charm thick. "It's fine, _signora_. I've dealt with worse."

She smiled gently, before blinking rapidly like she was just remembering something. "If you don't mind me asking so, um, who are you?"

"How rude of me; _perdonami, signora_. I'm Matthew's..." Lovino paused, hand held out, because 'Matchmaker' probably wouldn't be the best way to end that sentence. "School friend. Lovino Vargas."

She gasped, wide eyes dashing between Matthew and Lovino. "You're Matthew's friend?!" She said finally, voice filled with incredulity. Lovino held back a laugh at the despair on Matthew's face. "I'm sorry; I've just never met one of Matthew's little friends... other than that slightly terrifying German girl that came over once. I have to- _Amelia will be ecstatic_."

The woman ran back inside, much to Matthew's apparent distress. Lovino, however, was back to trying to get Matthew's pet polar bear thing to stop biting at his shoes. "You took the time to warn me about your mom - who was a fucking delight, for your information - but you didn't think to tell me that you were harboring a hellhound."

Matthew sighed with the air of someone who had had to explain something a lot, and began heading inside. "That was _maman. Maman_'s normal... mostly. It's mom that I'm worried about."

Lovino filed that away, and took a moment to appreciate the decor. It was nice, with lots of family pictures and trinkets and random family stuff. Even though a lot of it looked like a weird clash of classical beauty and regular junk, it sort of fit, in a nice, homey way.

"Eh?"

Matthew's soft, questioning noise drew Lovino out of it, and he realized he must've been mumbling again. Lovino flushed brightly. "I meant that in, y'know, a good way. Looks lived in and comfy and shit."

Matthew looked at him oddly, but couldn't ask as another woman came sliding down the hall (Literally. She was wearing socks and sliding on the hardwood and she almost ran into them).

"So I hear that my Mattie's brought someone home! A Vargas, right? Oh gee, isn't he just fancy-looking? What was your name, again, sugar?" The woman leaned into Lovino's personal space, and he reflexively stepped back. "My 'Annie is just the worst with names and by the time she started talking she couldn't remember what it was."

Lovino, still slightly put off by her proximity and loudness, answered, "Um, Lovino, ma'am."

She laughed brightly and, yeah, this must be 'Mom' because Lovino could see that Alfred was basically a more annoying, make reflection of her. "He said 'ma'am', ain't that just the cutest thing? It's just Amelia, kiddo!"

Amelia stuck her hand in Lovino's face, and Lovino took another minute step back before gently shaking it.

"Mom," Matthew interrupted, thankfully, before Lovino could become more flustered by her energy, "Can I stay over at the Vargas' tonight?"

A squeal came from around the corner. "_Ohmondieu_, our little Matthew wants to have a _sleepover_!"

Matthew groaned, 'why do bad things happen to good people?' written in his face. "_Maman_, please stop."

Amelia winked at the boys, "Yeah 'Annie, they're teenagers now, and teenagers don't have 'sleepovers', right? They have some other lingo for it."

Matthew's Maman - 'Annie'? - winked as well, her eyes glittering behind her glasses, "Oh, oh, _je vois_! Oui, Matthieu, you can go 'hang out' at your friend's house tonight!"

"_Merci, mères_," Matthew began pulling Lovino to his room, not allowing his mother's another word. "_Dieu_, they're embarrassing."

"I don't know, they seem nice," Lovino shrugged, staring blankly at the wall - hockey teams and snowboarders, plus a couple family pictures - pushing thoughts of his own Mother off doing god knows what with no regard for her children. "At least they try."

Matthew blinked at Lovino, but didn't ask, and Lovino was thankful.

**END ACT ONE**

* * *

_So. That was something._

_I've gotten semi-attached to Gabriele and, after I had my own sexuality crisis, I've realized that he's actually really important for Lovino's development, as Lovino's first friend who's interest is a bit more than platonic. Let me be 100% clear, spamano will be the eventual ship. Antonio is in love with Lovino, or at least he thinks he is. Lovino has, at the most, a crush right now._

_When I was originally planning, this was supposed to be like 8 chapters and Lovino was going to get over his internalized homophobia super quick and Gabriele was a miniscule plot point and the spamano would end up adorbs in no time, but then I actually started writing. Antonio and Lovino have a lot of problems, like Antonio's obsessive possessiveness and Lovino's emotional repression, but the largest one is both of their tendency to ignore/hold in things until they explode, thus their argument in this chapter._

_We're gonna get to the ship, okay, but as we go along, I'm realizing that this is a lot more complex than originally planned. Antonio and Lovino have a lot of growing up to do before they can even think of a relationship._

_Oh, also, I don't know if I mentioned this before but Lovino's mom is nyo!2p!Romano. The Williams-Jones are Nyo America and Canada._

_Review, fave, follow, etc~_


	6. approval

_In which: Lovino has a sleepover, realizes he has friends (!), and absolutely nothing is wrong_

_sooooo i sort of forgot to update on ? this has been on ao3 forever im sorry. but new things!__ we have a new summary (no more cliche 'queer kids looking into mirrors' for me!) and the chapter titles aren't "how to" anymore and now the fic is in acts, which is! super exciting. I also edited how I do texts But anyway._

_There's also a new fic in the series, full of drabbles and stuff, so if you're into that, check it out!_

* * *

**ACT TWO**

**Outside Moretti's, Italy (Age 13)**

"It's _so early_, Lovino, what do you want?" Gabriele whined but sat on the curb anyway.

Lovino fretted with the hem of his shirt. "I-I have something to tell you, Gabri."

Lovino had been so excited for this summer, with Gabri coming back and him being _thirteen _and people had finally forgot about Ali's german girl (_It only took six years_, he bitterly thought), but now…

"Really?" Gabriele straightened up, he looked slightly flushed, but that was probably just the pale morning. "You know, you can tell me anything, 'Vino. _Anything_. I'd never judge you."

Lovino tossed Gabriele a confused look, "Uh, okay? I don't think you'd judge me for this anyway."

Gabriele grinned, "Of course not!"

"_Anyway_," Lovino shook his head, ignoring Gabriele's weird behavior, "It's just that, well, you know how my parents have been… less than happy lately?"

"Yeah?"

"Okay so, I heard them talking last night and they were talking about me and Ali and-"

"Do they know? Did you like, officially tell them? Has _Ali_ officially told them?"

"Told them _what_?" God, Gabriele was being _so weird_ and Lovino had no idea what he was talking about.

Gabriele rolled his eyes and bumped Lovino. "You _know_."

"I really don't."

"'Vino, I've been waiting for you to tell me, because Oliver at my school said you can't like, corner someone and force them to tell you, but like, _Lovino_. I know, and it's okay, alright? Plus, I mean, I'm not exactly-"

"Gabriele, what the hell are you- mmff!"

Lovino was cut off by Gabriele pushing their lips together, eyes screwed shut. Lovino froze before leaning slightly into the kiss, and then he realized himself and pulled back suddenly.

"What the fuck!" Lovino gasped, mouth hanging open in shock and eyes bulging

Gabriele furrowed his eyebrows. "What? Didn't you- Wasn't that what you were going to tell me?"

"What the fuck, of course not!"

"But, you said you had something to tell me? And I-"

"And you _kissed _me!" Lovino still couldn't quite get his head wrapped around that. Gabriele had _kissed _him. And he had sort of kissed Gabri back. _What the fuck._ "I was going to tell you that mama's shipping me and Ali off to America next week, because we have a rich grandpa there or something and papa's sick!"

Gabriele blinked. "You're leaving?"

"You thought I was _gay_?"

"You're not?" Gabriele scrunched up his nose in a way that was mildly endearing. Or, it would be. But Lovino _wasn't gay_. "Are you sure? Like, I get if you're closeted or something but I was pretty sure. I mean, I haven't exactly been _subtle_ and you never seemed put off or anything."

"I- what?"

Gabriele rolled his eyes, as if _he _was the one being inconvenienced. "I've been flirting with you for like, three years."

"Really?" Lovino blinked. "You- And I didn't notice? _Really_?"

"I literally said that you were my type." Gabriele shrugs. "But I mean, you're leaving in a week and obviously my gaydar was off, so. We can just forget about it?"

Lovino nodded and held his hand out for a fist bump.

But if he avoided Gabriele and his warm, chapped lips for his last week, then, well. That's just the way things turn out.

* * *

**Romulus Vargas' American home, America (Present)**

Matthew was staring at the furniture. Normally, that wouldn't be too weird because Nonno's new 'girlfriend' had a more modern taste and the stuff looked weird as fuck in their classically designed house, but for some reason, Lovino really wanted Matthew to like their house.

"Nonno's got this new girlfriend - Da-something, I think," Lovino started to babble and he _couldn't fucking stop himself_. _"_She's really into post-modernism or what-the-fuck-ever. He lets his flavor-of-the-week pick out the decor, not that they're usually here to actually see it, because he thinks it's a nice gesture or something."

Matthew looked shocked that Lovino had caught him looking and vaguely guilty, so Lovino rolled his eyes and continued.

"In my opinion, the only 'nice' thing about it is that when they break up; he ships all this shit out to the chick so that we can go back to ma-_normal_ furniture."

Lovino clicked his tongue at the near slip of talking about his mother's furniture and was once again thankful that Matthew was scared enough, or respected him enough, to not ask about it.

When they finally reached Lovino's room (And, Lovino had purposely chosen a room far away from the center of the house, but _god_, he regretted it sometimes) Matthew just stood at the door and sort of… gaped? Stared? Looked generally shocked?

"_This_ is your room?" The words were barely a whisper, dipped in amazement.

Lovino could feel his neck and ears warming up. "Sort of. This is like, like the... 'foyer', I think the word is?" Lovino gestured to the three other doors, "That door's my actual bedroom, that one's the bathroom, and that's my closet. I'm going to go get my pajamas on; you can use the bathroom to change."

Matthew nodded and Lovino went into his room.

"Okay, Lovino," He told himself, picking up his pjs, "You're fine. Chill the fuck out. Matthew is _just a job_. You don't need his approval or support or anything, and even if you did, you're _fine_ because there's no reason he _wouldn't_ approve, okay? You're _fine_."

Lovino nodded to himself, pulling on the bright orange sleep shirt. He was going to be fine. Matthew didn't hate him or his house, and even if he did, Lovino didn't care. Everything was-

"_Oh, cazzo._" Lovino froze. "You weren't supposed to find those."

Matthew looked at the cabinet that he wasn't supposed to open, and then down at the DVD case that he shouldn't have even looked into. He had tried to make the cases look as boring as possible - Hiding DVDs in the cases of historical documentaries and labeling stuff with boring movie names in Italian - so no one would look at them, but _of course_ Matthew would find Lovino's secret rom com stash.

"If you tell anyone that I have a collection of dumb romantic movies, like I'm a _girl_ or some shit, then I swear to god," Lovino shakily threatened, because no one could know and he could feel himself blushing bright red and he couldn't- Matthew couldn't- "I'll- I'll-"

"Don't worry about it, Lovino," Matthew snapped shut the disc with an audible click. He looked up at Lovino with wide, thoughtful eyes. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Lovino didn't move, still frozen from fear and shock, but his eyes widened minutely. 'That's what friends are for, right?', Matthew had said. Were they friends? Sure, Lovino cared more about Matthew then he typically did about jobs, and he had invited Matthew for a... well, it was sort of a sleepover, he supposed, and he did try to impress Matthew, and-

_Oh fuck_, he thought. Lovino _was_ trying to be friends.

Lovino hadn't had a new friend, someone who didn't already know how to deal with his bullshit and his landmine emotions, since before 7th grade. But, Matthew had said that they _were_ friends, as in, the friendship had already been formed.

_Look at you, making friends completely by accident_, Lovino thought.

_Antonio would be proud_, Lovino absolutely did not think, because he wasn't thinking about Antonio, not now and not ever.

_Yeah,_ Lovino thought, mentally rolling his eyes, _keep telling yourself that._

Lovino tuned out his inner dialogue and moved to go sit next to Matthew. "Y-yeah. Friends and all that."

"You know, I actually really like this one." Matthew said after a vaguely awkward moment of staring at the disc together. "Al and I marathon romcoms sometimes, and this is one of his favorites."

Which, okay, was not what Lovino had expected to hear. Alfred was probably the most masculine guy that Lovino knew, so forgive him if he was surprised to hear that he also indulged in something as silly and as girly as rom coms. "Really?"

Matthew smiled at Lovino. "Really."

"Do you... do you want to watch it?" Lovino took a deep breath. If he was going to do this, he might as well go all the way. "I haven't seen this one in for-fucking-ever, but like, it's pretty good. My favorite right now is How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days though, because it's so great that the southern bastard gets a taste of his own medicine, and then they fall in love anyway," He reached into the cabinet and clicked open another case, this one disguised as an Italian flick, "I actually have a bunch - way more than I need, that's for sure - plus the few that Ali owns... if you want to watch any of them, that is."

"Why not?" Matthew said with a larger smile, and Lovino didn't even think before smiling back.

* * *

**Gwen**

**What the hell was that about?**

**_Not talking about it._**

**Lovino, you can't just act like nothing's happening. **

**Even Francis realised something was wrong.**

**/Francis/**

**_I'm fine._**

**_There's nothing to talk about and nothing's wrong._**

**Francis has texted me twenty-nine times about Antonio.**

**Oh look, that makes it an even thirty.**

**Do you want me to copypaste a couple to you?**

**"Guinevere he's at my kitchen table reading a book"**

**"Reading. k."**

**"He says he's fine but the Antonio I know doesn't read books"**

**"Or at least not without school-reasons"**

**_Antonio reads._**

**_He likes books._**

**_Like that one series, with the bird? He reads that one._**

**I texted that to Francis and he sent me a snap video of him gasping with laughter.**

**He says, and I quote, "Antonio was reading that series durin r".**

**_…_**

**_Look, you're distracting me from 50 First Dates and Matthew keeps looking at me_**

**What?**

**You're watching romcoms with him?**

**What?**

**Lovino!**

**What the hell Lovino don't ignore me**

**Goddamnit**

* * *

It had been very nearly therapeutic, throwing his phone over his shoulder and enjoying a night of movies and planning (Okay, so the planning was more gossip than anything else, but hey, could you blame them?), so with morning came a reconnection with the outside world and a flood of texts, most from Guinevere and most along the lines of **What the fuck you dickbag, answer my bloody text messages**. He shot her a quick **_Text Francis and tell him to meet us at the amusement park at noon-ish._** He didn't look down when his phone buzzed, probably with questions about why _he_ wasn't just texting Antonio to do it, and instead focused on trying to stop Matthew from drowning everything in maple syrup. They were making pancakes and omelettes and Matthew was trying to ruin the omelette that Lovino was making.

"You are not putting maple syrup in your omelet."

Matthew's hand twitched towards the syrup bottle. "But Lovino-"

"No, damn it! Enough is enough. You can't just dump liquefied sugar into everything you eat," Lovino huffed, "And anyway, syrup will mess with the taste of my tomatoes."

"What if I don't want tomatoes in mine?"

Lovino gave Matthew the most withering look he could manage, despite the floral apron he was wearing. "Why the fuck would you not want tomatoes? Have you ever had an omelet with tomatoes? Obviously not, if you're claiming that you don't want them. Just focus on your pancakes, you," Lovino waved the spatula through the air, "You… _Canadian_."

"Was that supposed to be an insult?" Matthew laughed. "I am part Canadian, you _Italian_."

Lovino felt his ears warm. "I think I liked you better when you were too scared of me to be a sassy little shit."

"That was before I knew you could quote The Princess Bride."

"Hey, The Princess Bride is the shit," Lovino bumped Matthew good-naturedly as he joined him at the table. It'd been awhile since he'd joked around with someone-who wasn't Guinevere-this easily, but it felt good. It felt _normal_. "Damn, this actually looks good."

Matthew nodded and proceeded to cover his plate, omelette and all, with a thick layer of syrup. Lovino cringed at the thought of the sugar, but he was vaguely impressed. "How can you eat that?"

"'S d'lich'us, B'st thin' ev'a," Matthew insisted through a mouthful of food.

"Fucking disgusting," Lovino huffed, pointedly looking away from Matthew and at his own food.

As they were finishing up, Lovino spoke again "Look, this is going to be super easy." Matthew made a confused noise and Lovino rolled his eyes because _of course_ Matthew couldn't see the way Julchen looked at him. "The only thing we really need to do is... Get you some respectable clothes. Yes, that's the number one priority, because like hell am I letting you go out in the rags you pick out." Lovino paused. "... No offense."

Matthew rolled his eyes in a way that showed that there had been at least _some_ offense, but he nodded.

Lovino stood and began to lead the way to the garage.

_It's go time_.

* * *

_Kind of a weird cut off but look, none of you are my mom._

_Next chapter will be out asap, but like? my senior year has started and i have ACTUAL WORK so i can afford tickets to go see book of mormon and/or spring awakening and other projects (I WANT TO FINISH HTWAP BEFORE I DO ANOTHER CHAPTER FOR THIS), but i sort of already have a decent amount of next chapter written, so? we shall see if my self control/work ethic holds up_


End file.
